


Autumn Leaves Fall

by rainpie



Category: Bully (Video Games)
Genre: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Mental Breakdown, Other, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-11
Updated: 2019-04-16
Packaged: 2020-01-11 21:35:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,078
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18432548
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainpie/pseuds/rainpie
Summary: A new year starts at Bullworth Academy, and things are different now. Peter Kowalski needs help, but can’t bring himself to get it. - A short story about finding the courage to be vulnerable.





	1. The Curse of Isolation

Pete hadn’t quite been himself recently.

  
No one knew quite when or how he’d started changing. It felt like he’d been that way forever, but it couldn't have been, because he had some memory of things being different. It wasn’t that he possessed none of his regular personality traits anymore; they were just dampened down, somehow or another.  
He was simply… less.

A leaf fluttered erratically outside the old, strain-streaked window in the common room, slipping under the crack in the window and landing softly at the foot of the couch. Pete shivered, brought up his right hand, lightly tanned fingers creeping up the curve of his left shoulder.  
Autumn at Bullworth Academy was pretty, in its own strange way. It was painted in pale yellow skies, tinged by the ever-lingering smell of mold, as auburn leaves sailed the breeze like tired old butterflies.

The start of the school year meant different things to different people. For some, it was time to demonstrate their power, shouting abuse and bruising arms. For others, it meant finding friends, exploring new terrain.

For Pete, it was just another year. Classes, books, and then… nothing.

It hadn’t always been like that.

Had Gary still been around, it would be all about him. A new plan. An old prank. A thousand microtasks deemed too lowly for Gary to complete. Every minute, every second occupied. Every waking hour spent on Gary; sometimes even the sleeping ones, when Pete would wake up to a burly teen shaking him awake, hissing at him to get up and write this down, he had a whole new plan and this time it would really work.  
On the rare occasion he wasn’t needed, Pete would… draw something? Watch a movie and write an in-depth review for it? Go for a walk?  
He didn’t remember anymore. He used to have so many hobbies and interests before Gary came in like a tempest, sweeping up every minute of free time Pete had and sucking him into the violent clusterfuck of insanity that was his plans to take over Bullworth. Whittling down from flesh to the clean bone of his memory of any life before then, any kind of existence that didn’t entirely revolve around Gary Smith.

But as a tempest does,  
Gary came and went.

And now. Now, it really was nothing.  
Well.  
There was Jimmy.

Jimmy, his ever-restless self, who wore a permanent look of… disgust? Anger? Pete didn’t know, but it didn’t bother him. He liked Jimmy, who feared nothing and answered to no one.  
But Pete wasn’t Jimmy’s only friend, and there were times where he went hours, even days without seeing him, despite them sharing a dorm.

Then there was Beatrice.  
A sweet, if not odd little thing, with the learning capacity of a computer and the social skills of a wooden fence.  
When she wasn’t busy with her studies, she might show up outside the boy’s dorm asking for Pete with a bag of coca-cola jellies and a toothy metal grin. He really enjoyed being with her. Well, maybe apart from when she asked about Jimmy, which was perhaps a little too often. Pete knew he should care more about it, and if he were normal, perhaps he would, but it honestly didn’t bother him if Beatrice had a crush on Jimmy.

What bothered him was that when he was with other people, they wished they were with someone else.

Mr. Galloway used to describe loneliness as “crushing”, “suffocating” and “all-compassing”. Pete, being somewhat a connoisseur of loneliness, disagreed with that. It really was more of a sad, tepid fog that hung in the air and followed him wherever he went. Even when talking to Jimmy, scurrying after his wide, swaggering steps, or slipping notes and brushing fingertips across Beatrice’s cool, slender hands in the library, the loneliness hung like a cloud over his head that only slightly reduced swelling when he wasn’t completely alone.

He wondered if it had always been that way.

On Wednesday morning, Jimmy had asked if Pete would be heading to the carnival that Friday.

Pete wrinkled his nose. “Haven’t we been there so many times?” he asked, forgetting that James was from out of town.  
Jimmy exhaled heavily through his short, freckled nose.  
“I’m not forcing you to go,” he said, his narrow brown eyes narrowing even further. He leaned against the garage door outside the shop classroom, arms folded, his stubby legs crossed over each other. Students roared with conversation as they milled towards the main building.

Pete replied: “I guess I can.” Jimmy nodded shortly, staring at Pete, who didn’t return his gaze for long. Silence fell between them, so Pete started turning around then, although he knew the bell probably wouldn’t ring for at least another ten minutes.

“So, who’ll be your date?”

  
It might have been Pete’s imagination, but there was something slightly sarcastic about the way Jimmy said it, that made Pete feel like his stomach had been wrung out like a wet dishcloth. It almost made him stop in his tracks. He clenched his fists. Swallowed and took a shallow breath.  
“I ‘unno,” he called over his shoulder, casual-like, as though it didn’t matter a thing to him.

He must have given away something in spite of himself, though, because Jimmy seemed to feel bad.  
“Wait, man. Petey, what the fuck, the bell hasn’t even rung yet.” He slipped easily into place beside Pete, whose steps were so small that it took almost no effort to catch up with him. “I was thinking… I know someone you’ll like. She’s a nice girl. Real big-… err, heart.”

Somehow, Pete felt a little more insulted. This wasn’t the first time Jimmy had done something like this. He remembered a conversation from what seemed like a lifetime ago, way back when the cool new kid offered Pete a hand in the dating world. At the time, Pete had accepted eagerly, not realizing it was a joke. Now, even though the offer was genuine, Pete thought it was just offensive. Didn’t Jimmy think he could find his own girlfriend?

“I’m alright, thanks.”

  
Jimmy scowled. “Don’t be like that, man.”

  
“Like what?” Pete gazed steadily on ahead at the gravel path spread out before him.

  
Jimmy’s tone was sharp. “Like you have a fucking stick up your ass or something.”

Pete shrugged. This seemed to set him off.

“You’ve been like this all month. What’s wrong with you? It’s like you don’t have any sense of humor any more. Like you don’t find anything fun, you’re just going around dragging your feet, being all sad and weird. Actually, it’s been like that since- since school started up again. What the hell?”

  
Pete flinched. “Why don’t you leave me alone, Jimmy.” It meant to sound snappy, but it came out more like a whimper.

  
Jimmy glared at him for a few more moments, before throwing his hands up and heaving out a frustrated “whatever”. He stormed off.

Pete knew that they weren’t really arguing, that they’d be hanging out again whenever Jimmy felt like gracing him with his presence again, but their heated conversation still burned in his stomach for the rest of the day. And half of the next.

Thursday afternoon, Pete stared listlessly out the window in the common room, his eyes distant and unfocused. Untouched homework lay spread out all around him, and it would remain untouched for a while still. His dull thoughts angered him. His dull life angered him. His pointless, stupid, aimless, useless life made him so angry that he wanted to scream and punch and hurt and die.  
He went to bed that night with a pile of unfinished schoolwork and a crowded mind telling him over and over that his life meant nothing, nothing, nothing.

Sure enough, Jimmy was in good spirits when they met again on Friday morning. They stood outside the shop classroom again, this time with the garage door open.

  
“I’m bringing Zoe Taylor.” Jimmy announced. He seemed uncharacteristically excited.

  
Pete frowned a little, stealing a glance at Jimmy’s motorcycle, which was leaning on the wall behind them. It only had two seats. “Guess I’ll walk, then.” Pete replied. He couldn’t help sounding whiny.

  
Jimmy shook his head in response. “I’m taking Galloway’s car. He said I could, if I did him a favor afterward.” He explained, sounding proud.

  
Pete raised an eyebrow. He didn’t ask, but an educated guess would assume it had something to do with Jimmy sneakily stashing a few bottles somewhere. Pete prayed he’d be left out of it.

Although he was happy enough that Jimmy had a girlfriend to bring along, Pete couldn’t help but feel slightly more apprehensive about going now that he knew Zoe would be with them. He dreaded the idea of third-wheeling. When it came to that, Pete honestly preferred to be completely alone. And he hadn’t officially met Zoe Taylor yet, though he’d seen her strutting around campus a few times. She seemed like the kind of girl who was… well… Honestly, she was terrifying.  
If they decided they wanted to ditch Pete, he'd be all alone at the carnival. Beatrice hadn't been available that Friday - she'd expressed some interest before finding out that Zoe was coming along, to which she was then suddenly reminded of an upcoming biology test. 

Classes distracted him. He tried hanging back a few times, but it seemed like every teacher was in a rush today. They all packed up their things several minutes before the bell went, an action usually reserved for the impatient, restless students who kept their eyes glued to the clock. He spent lunch in the English classroom, scribbling out the essay that he’d failed to do last night.  
When the bell let out its final shriek to signify the end of the day, Pete took his time while everyone else flew out of their seats. He wandered down to the dorm in good time, knowing that he could expect at least 20 extra minutes over what time Jimmy said he’d call for Pete at.

He was on his bed reading a sports magazine when he heard three abrupt knocks on his door, which opened shortly after.  
Unlike Gary, Jimmy at least had the decency to knock before bursting into Pete’s room.  
“Let’s go,” Jimmy commanded, but not harshly. Pete swiped his wallet from his nightstand and sidled out of bed, stuffing it in his back pocket and closing the door to his room before following Jimmy to the car waiting outside.


	2. Dirty Night Clowns

When Pete opened the back door of the car, his nose was immediately attacked by a thick cloud of cigarette smoke.

“Close that door before one of the prefects freak out, will you?” Jimmy snapped, heaving his mass into the passenger seat. Zoe Taylor twisted around in her seat to face Pete, a single earring winking at him under her shockingly red hair.

“Zoe,” she announced, holding out a black nail-polished hand.

“Pete.” He received her after slamming the door shut, blinking back tears from all the smoke.

Jimmy twisted the dial on the radio, flipping aimlessly through channels. “So anyways,” Zoe said. “You know what I said earlier? Well, my mom completely flipped.”

The two of them sitting in the front continued an old conversation, passing the cigarette between them until it burnt out. Pete sat listlessly in the back, fiddling with his seatbelt. A few minutes passed, and just when he’d completely zoned out, Pete heard his name being called, forcing him back to reality.

“Yo, you alive? Hello? Petey?” Zoe was waving her painted black fingers at him, though she kept her eyes on the road ahead with one hand on the steering wheel.

Pete blinked. “Huh?”

“I said, what grade are you in?”

Pete almost had to stop and think. “Oh, I’m in my second year.”

“No kidding!” Zoe sniffed. “I thought you were younger than Jimmy.”

“Guess it’s because I’m pretty small,” Pete joked weakly.

Zoe grinned at him through the rear-view mirror. “Yeah, you look about twelve,” she said bluntly, but not unkindly. She glanced down at the seatbelt sitting tightly against his chest and repressed a laugh. “I’m guessing you’re one of the smart types. You like studying? Video games?”

“Nah, I’m into…” He hesitated. Why was this question so hard? Quickly, he tried wracking his brains. Zoe glanced at him curiously through the mirror again.  

“…sports,” he finished. It wasn’t exactly a lie. He was great at swimming, he just hadn’t done it in a while, and kept mostly to watching it on TV or reading about it in magazines these days.

Zoe raised her eyebrows at this but decided to be polite. “What sports?”

The conversation kept up throughout the short drive, to Pete’s surprise and relief. When they arrived at the carnival, Jimmy took Zoe’s hand, and together they headed for one of the rides. Pete meekly trailed a few steps behind them.

They tried different things. Pete wasn’t able to stomach all of them, so he often wound up sitting on a bench, peering up under the flashing lights of the carnival rides as the two redheads whisked by him, yelling delightedly and gripping the handlebars until their knuckles whitened.

As they wandered through the various attractions and delights, they tried cotton candy and cheesy fries and milkshakes and popcorn until even Jimmy and Zoe didn’t feel like taking any more rides.  
“Let’s play some games and get our minds off this,” Jimmy suggested with a pained groan. They trooped towards the games stalls and tried their hands at High Striker and Splish Splash, turning out their pockets and digging up change from every crevice until they were all broke. Their upset stomachs seemed to have gotten better by then, though, because Zoe suggested with enthusiasm that they get their fortunes told.

Jimmy grimaced at this and quickly turned to Pete for help. “What do you say, Petey? You choose what to do next.”

So Pete looked around him, searching for something to do that they hadn’t already. Only a few options remained. His eyes landed on a large wooden sign, where the words ‘FREAK SHOW’ were boldly plastered in shining golden letters.

“Let’s go for that,” he said, nodding in the direction of the freakshow.

They sauntered towards it with ease, though as they approached it Pete began to feel weird. When they reached the steps leading up to the wooden entrance shrouded by a red curtain, Pete deeply regretted his words and suggested they back out.

“What? You’re not seriously scared or something, are you Petey?” Jimmy teased.

“I’m not,” Pete insisted, staring at the ground. “I’m just not feeling too good. Maybe I should sit this one out…”

Zoe prodded him in the back. “Don’t be a killjoy. Come on, it’ll be hilarious.”

Pete forced himself to enter despite feeling like shit, because he felt even shittier now for being a killjoy. The air was tight and hot, making it difficult to breathe or calm down. A strange smell was in the air, like masking tape and poster paint. Almost like the art and photography classroom back at Bullworth, though Pete would honestly rather be sitting in class than having to be where he was now.

Squeals and shouts could be heard echoing down the corridors up ahead. Pete shuddered, goosebumps that wouldn’t go away prickling his skin. He boiled with self-hate, angry at the fact that he was being such a pansy, and unable to understand why he felt so uncomfortable. Especially when he was the one who had suggested they go there in the first place. Now it just looked like he’d suggested it because he thought it made him seem tough, but when it came down to it, he really wasn’t brave enough to go in. _Don’t be a little bitch,_ Pete thought furiously, defiant of all the feelings in his gut that screamed at him to get out of there.

He glanced over at Jimmy and Zoe. They seemed nonchalant, wandering ahead of him with perfect ease, as through strolling through the park on a sunny summer’s day. _Get out!_ Pete’s brain told him, but he forced himself to carry on. Strange, psychologically disturbing sounds echoed throughout the chambers of the building, neon lights flashing on and off.

They passed the attractions one by one, the feeling of dread increasing with each figure trapped behind glass walls. They witnessed a skeletal man in a top hat, a fat bearded woman blowing wet kisses at them through the glass, two midgets boxing each other in a ring.

But it was one of the very last attractions that did it for him.

The Crazy Painted Man stood behind metal bars, hollering and shouting an incoherent string of words, curses and cries for help. He banged his fists against the poles, his eyes wide and deranged, spittle flying from his mouth as he cried and cried. There was something so raw and sincere about his act, something so vulnerable and wild that made it seem like anything but an act.

At this point Jimmy, who hadn’t reacted to any of the other freaks, looked disturbed. Even tough-nut Zoe had gone a little paler than usual, fiddling with the fringe of her skirt. “That’s fucked up,” Jimmy announced, while Zoe nodded her head in agreement. “I think we should get outta here,” he added. “Right Petey? …Petey?”

Pete stood there, eyes distant and glassy. Jimmy took him by the shoulder and gave him a shake. “Petey?”

The tattoo-covered man roared at Pete, his wild eyes locked into Pete’s horrified gaze. His thin, wiry body writhed and struggled as though he were being eaten alive from the inside-out. His slender fingers clutched the bars of his prison, nails scraping against the metal as he slid his hands down the bars.

In Pete’s eyes, the lithe man grew. His shoulders broadened to fit a stocky frame, his muscles swelled, everything on him slowly morphing itself into something all too familiar. His bald head grew straight hair, thick and dark, and a thin white scar split across his eyebrow and travelled down over his right eye.

“PETEY!” Jimmy shouted, shaking him harder. Zoe’s eyes widened and she rushed forward, apparently seeing what was about to happen.

Then spots appeared before Pete’s eyes, and he felt the noise around him become faint and distant before everything turned black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter was a little short. Again, I would just LOVE it if you left some thoughts/critique on my writing here. More chapters coming soon... <3


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